Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations..
Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
t he heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom ..

Makynna and Jaden wiped out after playing all day on Thanksgiving. Looks like they just fell where they were playing...
Makynna and Livia sporting the shades.

John playing hockey.

...and John playing hockey.

Makynna with the ginger bread house she made at preschool.

Makynna at her preschool program, she was one of the Kings.

Kitty is thinking this is his new home....hmmmm...well at least he doesn't climb the tree.
This is Makynna all ready for her dance program. Now for the worst mommy in the world story...I shouldn't admit this, but maybe it will be therapy for me. Let me preface this with her preschool program yesterday, I completely forgot to get the teachers their Christmas gifts and felt pretty bad. I just figured that we'll have to bring them after break. Well, her dance program was last night and I wanted to make sure we had time to get gift cards for their gift so we were ready to go at 6:40. I stopped at Starbucks and got the gift cards, but they didn't have any envelopes left. I thought it would be tacky to just hand them the cards so I stopped at the grocery store on the way and got some 99 cent cards. Well on our way there was an accident, we weren't involved, but it was backing up traffic pretty good. We didn't get there until 7:20 and the show started at 7:30 so we were a little late. I thought it was odd that there wasn't anyone going into the building so I started walking faster. We got up to the door and I noticed that the doors to the gym was shut. I started to panic. We ran in and I found one of the mom's helping another girl (older one). I said that I think we're late, do you know where her group is? She said she thought they were out dancing. My heart stopped. I ran over to the gym doors and looked in. Sure enough, they were out there - just started. I told Makynna that they had already started and that we were too late. The look on her face just destroyed me. "But I want to dance with my friends mommy." ...and then the tears....and then my tears.... How could I have got the time wrong?? It started at 7, not 7:30. Why didn't I check the time before we left?? Why didn't I get the gift cards before??? Why didn't I just skip the gift cards?? Why??? Why??? So we left, both crying, me apologizing over and over. Crying when we got home, my eyes are still puffy. I feel so bad. I don't want this to be the one memory she remembers when she's older of her 4th year.... :( :( :( :( :( I'm sorry baby!!

Disney pics are under this next blog...check them out!!

I'm trying....

So..I have been trying to update my blog with all of our Disney photos, ok maybe 25 out of the 600 we took, but things have been going against me. I have all the photos uploaded and just need to write the commentary below them. Sounds easy, doesn't it. Well, last night was a night that was fairly free and I thought I could get a good chunk done. Ummm, yeah, didn't happen.
I took Makynna to dance class, and was home by 6pm. John was doing his homework because he wanted to go to the first home HS hockey game. Livi was off playing with Makynna, and wasn't tugging on my pants for me to read her a book, so I took advantage of the extra time and tried to get a few things picked up and put away. It was a good 10 minutes later, maybe a red flag should have went up before that, but hey I was getting something done... Makynna says, "Livi what do you have on your face?" I perk up...hmmm... "Mom, Livi has boogers all over her face." ...great... I go into the living room and see my daughter with, not sure what, all over her face, hands, clothes. I pick her up - yeah, not boogers. There is at least 1/4 cup of something all over her face. I smell it. Still unsure. I'm trying to wipe it off - not working real well. I sent John in to investigate while I continue to clean. As Livi is saying "AaahKee" and holding her hands up. John comes back to say that it's Bag Balm! You know the stuff that you can put on diaper rash that is the consistency of Vaseline. Oh, boy. So I strip her down, get her cleaned off and go to explore what she touched. Praying that it wasn't on our semi-new couch. I should have prayed when I got home...it was a little too late. There it was, hand prints going down the long side of our L shaped couch (did I mention that it's swede). 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...hand prints. So, I'm trying to clean that up - not sure what I should use, but when I'm wiping it you can't tell where the spot is because everything when wet looks dark. 20 minutes later. Entered said child's room. It is on the changing table's door, inside, all over the floor. She had wipes everywhere too, I'm assuming that she was trying to clean it up or get it off of her hands. So I start cleaning in there. Time goes by, hadn't seen Livi for awhile. Red flag? Should be. I come out of her room and see her in the bathroom, with TP all over, in the toilet and out. Wet TP on the floor. Seriously. Can this be happening. Stay calm. Yeah. I flushed the toilet, praying (again) that it flushed. First time did, second, not so much. Plunged it and all was good.
At this point I needed to take John to the game. I put clothes on Liv and we're gone. Have to stop at the bank to get cash for him, ahhh yeah, no cash card. It's in the coat I wore earlier when I was getting gas... nice. Head back home to get it, get back to the ATM. Sit there. Pin. What's the pin? I know it has a 5, 9, and 0. Two of one number, but in what order. 0059? no. 5009? no. 9005? no 5900? no. Urgh. Stress is getting to me. It's not like I just got this pin. Come on. Decided to stop, didn't want them to cancel the card. Called our neighbor to see if I could borrow $10. Got it and took John to the game. Grabbed McD's for the girls - still hadn't had supper and it was 8:30. Got home fed them and put them to bed. By then it was almost 10. Recleaned the coach. Got stuff ready for today and it was 10:30. End day. Picture? uh. no. wasn't thinking of that at the time. Brad was in Bismarck and lucky enough to only HEAR about he experience and finding it funny. Yeah funny. Maybe I'll think it's funny - in a week.
So, didn't really get any time to do the post. Sorry. Maybe tonight? After confirmation, cubbies and running to the store for a b-day present. Maybe.